Tracey Lindberg spoke at the Wood Buffalo Regional Library this evening. She wrote the amazing tale of Bernice, in Birdie, a quiet but resilient young woman who overcame incest and trauma by following her own healing journey to her own sweatlodge above a bakery. In you case you haven't heard of the book it is has been on the best sellers list for over a year in Canada and this week was named as one of the top 15 books you need to read as part of reconciliation. Her words about how this book is individually reconciliatory, that inward looking story telling is a responsibility, that told truths by sharing them and talking about them, were immensely welcome. Since the wildfire many of us in Fort McMurray now understand the healing properties of sharing our stories.  

Remember her name as her upcoming projects will undoubtedly be equally as threshold bending as Birdie. Her next project is about mother Maggie from Birdie, who disappeared from the book itself, because that story will have its own space and time. She is also working on several other non-fiction projects and starts at University of Ottawa as a law professor in the near future. 

The most impactful piece of her talk was about reconciliation for yourself. She described her tribe, those who bring light and kindness to her life, and her efforts to expel those who do not. Personifications of light and dark came to mind where there are those who bring nothing but sadness, drama and anger with them wherever they go. I think I flock to them because I too have a piece of me that is dark. Does that make me a bad person, no, just a complex person. We all emulate aspects of both light and dark but I know when I am around people that want to hurt me to heal themselves and when I want to hurt others with words, especially those closest to me (my husband, the saint). 

That's where reconciliation takes a dark turn. When as Indigenous people we turn to hate, anger, simply darkness, and call that healing. She talked about the shame that may make a difference on the surface but no real systemic shift occurs. I've tried that method. Shaming those who were uneducated about residential schools or reserve systems, thinking it would make them allies. Instead their shackles raised and they took to the defensive. I once had someone yell at me that "the war was won, get over it". Little did I know in the months following that interaction that it was a defensive move to my shaming. 

Her final point was that if you have a story, share it. There is a book in all of us. Write a little over time, but just write, that is how Birdie came to be, over a 20 year span and partially on napkins, scrap paper and dictated to siri. 

Her suggestions for the upcoming Indigenous authors, bloggers and storyteller follows:
Lee Maracle
Maria Campbell
Louise Bernice Halfe
Greg Scofield
Sheila Watt-Cloutier
Leanne Simpson
Katherena Vermette
Dawn Dumont
Beatrice Culleton
Naomi Sayers
Chelsey Vowel 
Harold Johnson
Richard Van Camp
​

Ralph always tells me about how precious his time is. For years I didn't really understand what he meant. After several grumps on my part and a Randy Pausch real last lecture (there was one more after the last lecture), I finally understood what he meant by "I don't have time for that". We have a finite amount of hours on earth and every iota of time matters. If you think of time as currency, which most of us are careful with, it's easier to make the mental switch. Your time investment is often more important than our financial investment. For example, I have some serious exams coming up, not medical exams, school exams. 

I spend my free time in school. Right now I'm doing accounting, project management and Indigenous studies. All three require dedicated time, however my exams are at the end of this month and I am maybe a third of the way through all three courses. Worse, I'm probably the least capable individual when it comes to accounting. How oh how will I get through this? Sheer panic. Last week I was so ill I didn't leave my bed, this week I have energy but am a week behind at work, next week my Dad moves into a new place and my stepson moves into a new place. These are the three weeks from hell (not really but everyone is abandoning me so a little melodrama is permitted) and I am spending my time learning how to use regression models (for which I will never ever have a purpose for). 

How I administer my time is always going to be a challenge for me. I value certain things more than other and show that with how much time I spend on them. One day I'll realize that proper allocation of my time will result in less last minute cramming. One day. 

Finding a theme for this blog has been difficult. I won't write about my job or the political environment that I work within, reason being that I write about it all day every day at work. Then I tried out a management blog, I'm taking a degree in management but the courses are somewhat disjointed so I'm having trouble stringing them together (maybe that is something for me to work on when I finish the degree). So I'm left with Cree Adventure blog. I love our eccentric life. My husband is older than me by three decades and it works for us. Before you judge keep in mind he is a genetic lottery winner, he looks as though he is in his 40s not his 60s. We love volunteering, camping, hunting, fishing, survival skills and of course wine (making and tasting). ​​From jewelry, fashion, prints, mixed media I love it all! Indigenous artists and Canadian artists are who I gravitate to in general but occasionally will venture into new territories. My husband and I have a wonderful art collection and are constantly adding to it. ​​very much looking forward to the finished product of framing this feather than my mother-in-law gifted us.

This thanksgiving weekend we have much to be grateful for. Here is my list of the more random things that I am thankful for:

• Lucky Charms
• Real estate agents who put up with me
• My dogs, not other peoples dogs, just mine. 
• Snow (I love snow and winter and it has come early to Fort McMurray!)
• Patience, when there is a whole slew of dirty dishes in the sink, that I didn't create
• My husband's patience when he finds the hole that Tango dug in our backyard. 
• Clawfoot soaker tub that makes for a great dog wash bay. So happy we decided to tile the walls.
• Wine, which makes for great conversation and even better razzing afterwards when you count how many your family and friends drank. (Nineteen, 1-9, how is that even humanely possible??)
• Grey's Anatomy, living life vicariously through fictitious characters who have the messiest workplace and love lives. 
• Candles that can mask the wet dog smell
• Accounting 250, for taking up all my time guessing the answer because the logic is not strong with this one. 
• Indigenous studies papers on topics I actually care about and kind of love.
  
• Referencing as many references in one sentence as is appropriate (is three separate quotes too much in one sentence?)  
• Volunteering for local non-profits who make a big difference in the community. Girls Inc. teaches girls as young as 4 self-defence! 
• Volunteering in Canadian Tire where you can catch up with 50 of your friends and acquaintances because everyone goes there at least once on the weekend.
• Catching up with a friend you haven't seen for years because you are a bad friend and don't call (like ever) and apologizing and her saying that's ok, we'll do better next time. Phew!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Have a great weekend and remember even if you are passive aggressively thankful for things, you are still thankful and that makes it A-OK! 

We just took a much needed break to Ontario. My dad came up to take care of the house (which is up for sale and he kept it top shape for showings) and the dogs, so there was nothing for me to worry about except unwind. It took us days to transition from the go-go-go lifestyle we have become acclimated to. The first week in Niagara I had activities planned each day, touring vineyard after vineyard, the falls, then off to Toronto where we started to pace ourselves after quite possibly the most beautiful wedding in Hamilton (many blessings to Jen and Colin). Following several hockey games and a baseball game we found ourselves on beautiful Paudash Lake. The cabin was serene, without internet or television, we read, fished and wrote. It's so nice to be unwound after a very long five months.